Social Wetworking

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Shit puppies. I just turned back on my Facebook. What the hell was I thinking? Now all that shit I write is going to show up in front of muh ex gurl and a bunch of web randoms who got added up when I was trying to rule the web last. Blocked her so she won’t be doing that shit where she’s seeing someone but wants me in her home twenty-four seven to see how long it takes before the good old days explode on us in a giant pile of drama.

Being an incredibly sexy poet is just so hard. Whine and dine with me.

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Rambling About Facebook

I end up doing the same thing I do on Twitter where I keep it short & sweet on here because it just gets turned into “More…” anyway which I rarely click, so I assume most other people are the same way about that one. Living without a “Dislike” button may be the new lifestyle trend of this century, but it can be seriously weird considering if I “Like” some horribly tragic yet nonetheless important news link I’m viewing. Lastly all Facebook seems to have become is a online birthday calendar for a lot of people, whereas some of us were digging in the grassroots garden long before all that stuff happened.

Steven Slater’s Epic Exit

Steven Slater (former Jet Blue employee who cussed out a passenger and made an awesome exit) is becoming quite the Internet sensation. This Facebook page (not really his) already has ~60,000 fans even though Slater only pulled his two-beers-and-inflatable-escape-route routine the other day.

Adventures In Modern Marketing

The Great Internet Marketing Guru takes a few questions and concerns from his clients.

Let’s listen in:

“My internet ad campaign was a total wash. I ended up taking a bath and nobody even visited my site!”

“Did you put boobs all over it like I told you to?”

“No, I thought that was too superficial and sensationalistic.”

“And that would be why you failed. You forgot your audience is nothing but superficial and craves sensationalism.”

“So what do I now?”

“Take a picture of your penis and put it on Craigslist.”

“Okay … but what is that gonna help?”

“Nothing. I just want you to relive the shame of former roommates of mine.”

***

“I saw this ad making a claim I shouldn’t buy a product. Should I believe it?”

“Of course! Ads were created to tell you what not to buy, not what to buy. So when an ad tells you to buy something, you know it’s fake because they are trying to advertise to you. But when an ad tells you not to buy something, you know it’s real because they are not advertising to you.”

“Wait … what?”

***

“So I got all these people reading my blog about tech and travel but I want to use my blog audience to expand my business promotions as well. How can I retool my blog without loosing readers?”

“It’s easy: Dramatically announce you will be leaving the blog, probably the whole Internet, forever. Send that out and then wait a few days, then come back with some false tale of woe and then start selling hub caps and spark plugs off your blog-doohickey.”

“That really works?”

“Oh yeah, totally! People usually use it to switch from catatonic to mildly psychotic instead of non-monetized to monetized, but all blogging is pretty much the same thing.”

***

“I was thinking of opening up a singles dating service online and…”

“Get the hell out of my office.”

***

“I heard that Twitter was the new tool for marketing professionals with the hottest and latest ideas.”

“Who told you that?”

“That guy in the rabbit suit trying to give out fliers.”

***

“Someone told me you could market products on Facebook more effectively than using banner services.”

“Depends on what you mean by ‘market.’ If by that you mean annoy people and be ignored, then yes it is very effective.”

***

“I bought up all my domain names and registered on every social network that exists. Is there anything else I should do before I set out to rule the digital landscape?”

“Yes. Hire a mafia. You are late to the game, the only way you’ll get any traction now is to break kneecaps and go gangsta on Google.”

***

Thus concludes another session of ultimate wisdom from The Great Internet Marketing Guru.

Facebook Agrees On The Desire To “Dislike”

This week Facebook introduced a new feature that allows users to “Like” the comments of other users.

My sarcastic comment that someone “Liked” was:

Now I will finally get the recognition I deserve!

But you can’t retool Facebook without running into this mass sentiment expressed through the corridors of comments:

Facebook should have a ‘dislike‘ button.

A thousand times yes!

Between the moronic “Nanny State Liberation Front” and the group wishing death under biblical terms to President Barack Obama (thus are not removed by Facebook) there remain many fan groups that I would very much enjoy the ability to “Dislike.”

Like their obviously inept Facebook ad-bots send me pro-Glenn Beck imagery, and this notion of if I “Like this ad?” is just raising some bile to back of my mouth.

Where is the box for: “Burn this ad in a vat of boiling acid?

Same with some of the individual comments of certain users that engage in what is called “being a troll,” “flaming,” or “cyber-harassment.”

My looking at this rabid ad hominem babble and the new option to “Like” this vile digital puke is just repugnant on every level.

Where is the box for: “Send this user to the trash bin?

I recognize that Facebook is trying to stay positive, but they should look around and see that when AOL announced dropping Bebo their stock went up.

The users on the social network are the driving force behind it.

And we demand to right to boo at each other!

Facebook has around 450 million users. The population of the United States is 309 million people. That means if you made everyone in the U.S. forcibly get on Facebook all at once you still would not have enough people Facebooking in that moment to account for the entire user community they have amassed. The sheer weight of Facebook on the Internet has forced almost every site to add this “Connect with Facebook” option. But I raise the issue of Bebo to point out that social networks live and die not by keeping shareholders happy but by keeping their users happy.

Arizona Protest Images & Immigration Cartoons

Protests were held in Tucson, and Phoenix, Arizona against the racial profiling law (known as “AZ SB 1070” which is the acronym of Arizona Senate Bill 1070) that was vomited up thanks to the incompetent Governor Jan Brewer and the group knows as “FAIR” that maintains multiple ties to racist elements.

(AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)

***

These are  some political cartoons on the topic of immigration, all of these images coming mainly from a 1.5 million member Facebook group that formed as “1 MILLION Strong Against AZ SB 1070” and now has outgrown its title.

Political Facebooking

Many people use the Internet in many different ways. This Social Networking Internet has become incredibly popular in recent years and the majority of that which I am involved in is the Facebook side of the Social Web.

More often than not I’m using this platform in a highly political fashion. Commenting on political groups and sending personal messages to people inflaming political hatred against me or others.

Quickly I am seeing this is all just a road with no end. I only end up “blocking” people as they only lie and deceive even when confronted in a respectful and fact-based manner. This leaves me thinking that it’s all pointless to be civil and be fact-based in the first place.

It’s possible that much of the dishonesty and vile rhetoric is more tied to the nature of the “no consequences” Web, but I don’t think so. I think the art of political debate itself is dead, murdered by the Tea Party and Fox News. Without facts and without any interest in civil discourse on both sides of a debate, the debate is by its very nature non-productive exchanges of name calling and ad hominem attacks of other natures.

How often do people question your faith, or lack thereof? Think on this for a minute. Now realize that on this Easter Weekend I have had some vile Facebooker question my faith. And for what reason? Because I called him out on spouting bigotry.

People want me to be meek, to be “Christian” in my words. I think not. I see all this vile fringe underground of politics coming to surface and I will fight the racist code speak, the outright bigotry, the partisan lies and the anti-American rhetoric. If they want to use their KKK tactics of ganging up on me and hiding behind the sheets of their fake accounts and fake names then so be it.

I shall be the stone that weathers the storm, and if I must die or be made a straw man or made an enemy of civility in the process then so be it.

I see not the strength to stand fast on the Left-wing. I see a lot of good people backing down or letting a pack of comedians lead the way when they are not the best people to bring forth the important issues.

The big part about Facebook that is highly deceptive is that many believe either that people are full of it and being insane or hyperbolic anytime they say anything online, or they believe that Facebooking is the answer to getting their voice out. In all honesty I am no different in the real world than I am online with only minor exceptions.

Some guy is currently trying to pick a fight with me, and I’m not joshing around when I’m trying to set up a time and place to just have the brawl. I don’t care. Not anymore.

As the war criminal George W. Bush once said:

Bring it on!