We Are We

john_lennon

I am the index.

I am the walrus.

Coo-coo-ka-choo.

john-lennon

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Song Lyrics: “Take Me To Church” by Hozier

Take Me To Church” by Hozier

My lover’s got humor

She still giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody’s disapproval

Should’ve worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak

She’s the last true mouthpiece

Every Sunday is getting more bleak

Fresh poison each week

We were born sick, you heard them say

My church offers no absolutes

Tells me worship in the bedroom

The only heaven I’ll be sent to

Is when I’m alone with you

I was born sick, but I love you

Mend me to be well

A-men, amen, amen

Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your light

I’ll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless stare, good god

Let me give you my life

Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your light

I’ll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless stare, good god

Let me give you my life

If I’m a pagan of the good time

My lovers is sunlight

Keep the goddess on my side

See the mantle sacrifice

Drain the whole sea

It’s some shiny

Something meaty for the main course

That’s a fine looking high horse

What you got in the stable

We the lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty

That looks plenty

This is hungry work

Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your light

I’ll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless stare, good god

Let me give you my life

Take me to church

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your light

I’ll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that death-less stare, good god

Let me give you my life

Social Wetworking

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Shit puppies. I just turned back on my Facebook. What the hell was I thinking? Now all that shit I write is going to show up in front of muh ex gurl and a bunch of web randoms who got added up when I was trying to rule the web last. Blocked her so she won’t be doing that shit where she’s seeing someone but wants me in her home twenty-four seven to see how long it takes before the good old days explode on us in a giant pile of drama.

Being an incredibly sexy poet is just so hard. Whine and dine with me.

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Just Call Me Dr. Love Cakes

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Barry White’s ghost gets jealous when we talk on the phone.

He says my voice is too low and sexy for him to listen for
long without a cold shower. Maybe two.

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Any time Dr. Love Song calls you must pick up the phone.

Ladies, you know who you are, no games now that school is in session.

Alright we have taken care of the two essential points to understand: first that I am too sexy so you can’t have it, stop asking, and second that women everywhere have to stop everything they are doing and listen to me like the words are gospel.

On to the business of the day:

Can it work for men and women to be just friends, and can a friendship survive an attempt at romance?

Oh Dr. Love Beats don’t play around so listen up while I crank that dial.

First we got sexy friends and how they don’t end up pants down with feet kicked up the second the doors closed behind them. It’s all about just what this person is to you and how you act around each other.

If you act like brother and sister, even if neither of you thinks of it like that, then no harm can come of it but keep in mind now that this means things like that person could come walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, their birthday suit and a single lifestyle for both of you but you still are not on the hubba-hubba-hubba train.

Never really know something like that until you test it and it’s not recommended to test that one out wildly.

Good friends the answer is: yes. Just people you know barely well enough to call friends probably not, and if anyone is spending a lot of time away from their honey to be with someone they barely could call a “bestie” then it probably means they are in the process of checking out of the relationship but of course every situation has unique factors.

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Then we have sexy, long-time friends trying to figure out if kicking the romance tree will drop poisonous snakes on our heads or maybe rain a bounty of delicious apples.

That is a very tricky one and where the romance is so easily sucked out of the room like a giant vacuum cleaner set to the no-sex-in-the-champagne-room setting just got turned on every time it comes up.

First you have to think yourself out and if the friendship gets permanently threatened in your head by something like cheating or dishonesty then this not a friend that is solid enough to consider this for.

Nobody said it was easy but adults actually manage to handle these big feelings in mature fashions, but that’s where the romance dies and rots in the corner of the room.

You can’t really take it forward with a friend without risking the friendship unless you can be sure they also share in a policy of time apart healing wounds, in so far as being civil with the next man or whatever the situation might be.

That means talking it out, which is great for couples to keep open lines of communications but is doing it ass backwards if you are trying to pitch some woo.

So the answers to today’s life questions are: yes if you’re good and close friends who know limits, and nobody ever won the love game without taking a gamble but at the same time dumb bets never break the bank.

Some parting words for the men of the audience before Dr. Love Cakes retires for the evening to my silk bedding and multiple wives.

Never met a woman yet that I had a worth talking about relationship with that didn’t try and push me away in one form or another. But if you already got that figured think on this one: don’t become that overly pushy guy or she’s going to push you right out the door one day.

When they say “space” or “time” or just ignore your fucking txts / calls then stop fucking bugging them for awhile even if that girl has you so in a twist right now.

You can man it up for a few days, don’t give me this shit about how you just had to do the million calls thing.

If she wants it and you want it and she knows it, all the stuff is as set as it gets without you there to fuel that fire like we love to do.

So go do something else for awhile before you make that poor woman break her phone against the wall.

Blah Blah Blah Blah

I don’t feel like writing anything too serious today. I’ll just keep typing into this laptop to fill up the space in my head that creeps and crawls. I have plenty to say, too much in fact. But it’s not going on the Internet. Sorry but my ever so interesting life story is not something I’ll put on here. I know all about tearing my heart out and wearing it on my sleeve for complete strangers. I’m the master of TMI (“too much information”) and I ramble as bad in conversation as I do online. But the person I am changes too fast to even keep track of anymore these days. I will say this though: for someone so young I’ve lived a rather full and complex life. Even though I’ve barely lived at all I could die with a smile on my face today, I’ve made my mark and changed cold hearts with my compassion as well as hardened hearts with my malice. I can finally view existence as something that makes sense and remembered that believing in myself is the only thing that ever made sense to me.

Adventures In Modern Marketing

The Great Internet Marketing Guru takes a few questions and concerns from his clients.

Let’s listen in:

“My internet ad campaign was a total wash. I ended up taking a bath and nobody even visited my site!”

“Did you put boobs all over it like I told you to?”

“No, I thought that was too superficial and sensationalistic.”

“And that would be why you failed. You forgot your audience is nothing but superficial and craves sensationalism.”

“So what do I now?”

“Take a picture of your penis and put it on Craigslist.”

“Okay … but what is that gonna help?”

“Nothing. I just want you to relive the shame of former roommates of mine.”

***

“I saw this ad making a claim I shouldn’t buy a product. Should I believe it?”

“Of course! Ads were created to tell you what not to buy, not what to buy. So when an ad tells you to buy something, you know it’s fake because they are trying to advertise to you. But when an ad tells you not to buy something, you know it’s real because they are not advertising to you.”

“Wait … what?”

***

“So I got all these people reading my blog about tech and travel but I want to use my blog audience to expand my business promotions as well. How can I retool my blog without loosing readers?”

“It’s easy: Dramatically announce you will be leaving the blog, probably the whole Internet, forever. Send that out and then wait a few days, then come back with some false tale of woe and then start selling hub caps and spark plugs off your blog-doohickey.”

“That really works?”

“Oh yeah, totally! People usually use it to switch from catatonic to mildly psychotic instead of non-monetized to monetized, but all blogging is pretty much the same thing.”

***

“I was thinking of opening up a singles dating service online and…”

“Get the hell out of my office.”

***

“I heard that Twitter was the new tool for marketing professionals with the hottest and latest ideas.”

“Who told you that?”

“That guy in the rabbit suit trying to give out fliers.”

***

“Someone told me you could market products on Facebook more effectively than using banner services.”

“Depends on what you mean by ‘market.’ If by that you mean annoy people and be ignored, then yes it is very effective.”

***

“I bought up all my domain names and registered on every social network that exists. Is there anything else I should do before I set out to rule the digital landscape?”

“Yes. Hire a mafia. You are late to the game, the only way you’ll get any traction now is to break kneecaps and go gangsta on Google.”

***

Thus concludes another session of ultimate wisdom from The Great Internet Marketing Guru.

What Is Art?

The Newsweek cover story for this week examines the issue of  “The Creativity Crisis.

If there is any truth to a decline in creativity in the U.S. it likely stems from a lack of value for the arts and a lack of healthy national discussion over the value of art itself in our society.

But the discussion almost always goes straight to:

I like to go through it backwards, because I’m weird.

Renaissance art is soft-core porno. Or … pornography is art. No cheap smut film can match a masterpiece, that’s not what I am saying. It is just a matter of prudish mentalities that separates one form of nudity from another.

The truly obscene becomes a form of art all on its own. Even without the creator ever holding such an intent. It’s really, really bad art. But what the SCOTUS defines “protected obscene speech” is bunk. The more obscene something becomes the more we should be taking cares not to expose young impressionable minds to this art, but I would defend it as free speech even when I find the expression itself downright immoral and disgusting.

I do draw some lines, however. The most recent example that helps to define my view of what art is would be the SCOTUS ruling on ‘crush‘ films as protected. This violates my standard of harm being caused to living creatures for the sake of art, therefore I must stand opposed to protecting ‘crush’ films for they are not fictional animals being slaughtered for entertainment. This standard of mine applies to all art forms, as long as no harm is done in course of making your art I have no desire to shut you down even if you produce a product I find more than merely questionable in nature.

One example of ‘questionable art’ finding its way into American Culture would be the appearance of anime featuring a naked young vampire girl slaying people on Hulu and YouTube with partial white blurring over the scene. I found that single scene not only offensive but outrageous. However, I would be upset to hear of people trying to get the videos pulled for the crime of poor taste.

Art of value is able to invoke any topic and any feeling without being merely obscene, but I have always argued that the only way we will ever be able to discover and reveal the great works of art to be found in our times is to loosen our neck-ties about what exactly we call “art” in the first place.

My medium is words, mostly written but spoken word as well. I used to be able to produce illustration that did not stink, most recent attempts looked like I was five years old. I have focused too much on my writing and any drawing talent I have has fully withered at this point. I’ve also always enjoyed pottery especially wheel pottery. I have never produced a painting I would want to show anyone, and having so little success with that medium I have never been privy to its joys.

This here is art, this post and this blog and this account. It’s a hybrid art, something like ‘HTML Art’ should apply here. Some of you might think I’m playing games or being annoying with something I post, but this is just a place to express for me. And the art I find most interesting is usually the art that pushes out our sensibilities and confronts the subject matter directly.

And that is essentially what I think art is: all creative expression under the limit of doing real harm. I wonder if anyone has a shorter definition and if anyone thinks the SCOTUS definition of “socially redeeming value” has any merit. I personally think that such an absurd and arcane definition of art in the United States and the absolute lack of focus on the importance of the arts in our mainstream culture is why the Torrance study cited in Newsweek showed a decrease in the creativity in our kids.

Until we out-grow our puritanical stage, we cannot grow as a larger society.