I have no desire to share every twist and turn of my love life on the web, but I see some sense it keeping things in broad generalities.
The long and short of it is within my headline: love makes fools of us all.
I am tired of being the only man alive who admits to his feelings.
I am tired of being surrounded by people more interested in getting their rocks off than they are in anything else.
I am tired of the obvious lies from other men in terms of their emotional investment and complete servitude to their lover.
I have come to the conclusion that is a good thing to be alone, and a good thing for me to not have a lover. These days of endless pain and broken dreams have taught me well.
Most of the time I just keep quiet on this topic. The feelings and thoughts I have don’t give anyone the warm and fuzzy feelings they like to associate with love.
Like so much of what I have to say, the fact remains that nobody wants to hear it because it didn’t give them exactly what they expected and wanted to find.
Having some know-it-all tell you that love can destroy you, as quickly as it can raise you up, is not what someone swimming in the sea of romantic bliss wants to hear.
Listening to someone calling love a random and uncontrollable force of nature when you are convinced that your feelings are entirely centered around this person is just no fun at all.
Add atop that I have strong negative feelings toward those who engage in public displays of affection (something I am normally found of) and hold a general level of resentment toward all those who have found and, by some rare miracle, held on to love … we begin to see why I am better off to just shut up.
I find the more I could give a damn about women and romance, the more appealing I am to others.
I think this is screwy psychology on the part of women. When I enter that state I truly could give a damn about you (whoever you are) and this is exactly what makes women approach me in the first place. It is truly no surprise to me there is so much divorce and domestic violence; such matters are a large part of the problem.
Women (too many of them anyway) reward men for being dispassionate husks that sit aloof from the world in a tower of pride.
I know that state well, and I must say it not something to be desired in the least.
But it is my experience that the sooner I learn to once again think of all women as nothing but mere distractions, the sooner I will stop spending my nights alone and wanting.